Wednesday, October 12, 2011
It’ll also be five days since I lost you. Five long days and five even longer nights. It’s all blending together like one unending nightmare.
At times, I think that surely it is a nightmare. Surely I’ll wake up soon and you’ll be right there by my side, curled against me, your hair spilled on the pillow. We’ll make love. I’ll tell you about my nightmare and you’ll call me silly. We’ll go about our day, and go hunt at nightfall. Tonight, we might even manage to finally execute Ann together. And then…
But I’m not waking up. And I’m not going to, am I? It’s not a dream. It’s really happening. You’re gone.
I killed Ann three days ago. Two days too late. She was laughing ‘til the very end, asking me if I would kill you too. If I’d go hunting for you, or just wait for you to come home to me.
To come home to kill me.
Ah yes, she was very vocal in letting me know you’re a killer now. I called her a liar. Then I staked her. I wanted to ask her where you were, but if she had told me I’d have needed to go look for you, and I don’t think I’m ready for that. Not yet.
As much as I want to believe, to hope she was lying, a little voice inside me can’t help but ask – what if she wasn’t? What if you really are a killer? The very thing we were taught to hunt…
I hope you’ll leave town now that your Sire is dead. You have to know she is. We were told at the Academy that Childer can feel their Sire’s death, so surely you felt Ann’s. I’m sorry you had to feel that pain, but I’m not sorry I avenged you. Because in the end, that’s what it was. Revenge. I didn’t care anymore that she was a known killer, that she’d been on the S.E. list for years. All I cared about was this one thing: there’s a jewelry box at the bottom of my sock drawers and it’s going to stay there because she took you from me. And that’s why she died.
Tomorrow is our anniversary and I miss you so much I can hardly breathe. I don’t know how I’ll get through the day – or the night.
Will you think at all about what day it is – about me?