It’s been a hundred years today since you died. I never knew why you were out of the city, beyond the protection of the walls. I suppose you had a reason. A good reason. Only suicidal people travel outside without one, especially at night or when a demon attack is expected, and I don’t believe you wanted to die. I can’t believe it.
The last memory I have of doing something with you is of going to the graveyard to put flowers on Grandma’s tomb on her birthday. Things must have happened after that because you didn’t die until two weeks later, but small day to day things have faded with time. I barely even remember anymore what your cologne smelled like. Few men wear cologne these days, it’s one of those luxuries that seem irrelevant when every night we fight to let Newhaven endure another day. But once in a great while, I catch a whiff of it in a corridor or even on the fighting field, and every time, every single time I catch myself looking around for you. It’s silly, isn’t it? Fifty years, and this little girl still can’t believe her daddy is dead.
I couldn’t believe it back then either. I was so sure you’d be back. I didn’t know much about demons or vampires, and what little I did know had all mixed together so that I was sure that being killed by a demon meant you’d rise again like a vampire. That was why I went to your grave the night after we buried you. And that was how I met Will.
I think, no, I know you would have liked him. Few people dislike him, unless he actively tries to be unpleasant. He tried that on me, in the beginning. He can be very good at it. But most of the time, he’s pleasant enough.He has this air about him that’s… I want to say comforting, but that’s not exactly the word. He doesn’t usually try to comfort people. He’s all about business, about the fight. I guess that’s what’s comforting: in a city under siege, the most comforting thing is to know someone strong, someone solid is in charge. And since I’m his only weakness, we’re as safe as can be.
I wish you could have met him, but the reality is, I probably wouldn’t have done more than been aware of his existence from afar if you hadn’t died. I’d have joined the Cadets and the Guard, I’m sure of that much, but as for my relationship with him… Would I even have become a vampire?
So many things were set in motion when you died, and I will never even know why you did. All I can hope is that you’d have been proud of me for trying to make sure that as few little girls as possible lose their dads like I lost you.